Here’s the Wrap:

• Bush says he’s optimistic because Iraq is doing about half of what we told them to do. Wow. It’s like we’re raising a teenage democracy. I’m serious. Didn’t your father make that face at you when you were a kid?

Big wreck on the Tour de France. Riders optimistic because, well, if Bush can be optimistic in Iraq, anything is possible. Shoot, I’m optimistic I can teach birds to sing and turn back time and make my dog poop in the toilet. The world is my oyster. Thanks, optimism!

* Queen Elizabeth wants you to know she is not a diva — she’s a queen. No, I don’t know what the difference is either.

• You shouldn’t listen to your iPod in a lightening storm. No kidding.

A Canadian jogger suffered wishbone-shaped chest and neck burns, ruptured eardrums and a broken jaw when lightning traveled through his music player’s wires.

• A cause for climate concern: cow burps. Yes, we’re talking to you, Bessie.

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