Blotter O’ the Week:
A man shot two holes in his closet and one in his hand after a bad Braves game. He apparently passed out drunk, then woke up later, slipping in either blood or booze and breaking his wrist. Dude, the Orioles lost 30-3 and nobody got hurt. Cope.

A Florida man told police that he was in the passenger seat of a car when he got into a fight with a friend in the back seat. The man began hitting him in the back of the head until he fled the car and notified police. We’re pretty sure the argument started with two syllables: Shotgun.

A woman was nabbed on Aug. 18 at a West Ashley store attempting to steal an EPT pregnancy test, trying to “conceal the merchandise under her clothes.” We’re guessing she’ll have a lot more to hide in nine months.

Last week, a James Island woman complained that her neighbor was approaching her, saying, “Do you want to have sex?” “How do you like it? Rough?” and “I would hate for your body to end up in a ditch.” That’s what happens when people read Playboy while watching Nancy Grace.

Officers came upon a vehicle in a fast food parking lot parked in two spaces, finding the driver passed out behind the wheel with food covering his face and his shirt. There’s surely some excuse that doesn’t include alcohol, but it probably involves some bizarre fetish, so he’s probably better off copping to the booze.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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