BLOTTER O’ the Week:
A woman told a coworker that he should call her on her cell phone if he had any work-related problems. That night, he sent her a text reading, “Next txt will be available 2 u wheneva u want it!” The next text was a picture of an erect penis with an attached statement, “Whenever U Ready!” We would have replied, “Pic 2 small 2 see clearly. Call Bob 4 help.”

Police responded to an accident at Meeting and Wentworth streets after a car crashed into a telephone pole. The passenger stated the driver had been drinking. No surprise, considering the driver couldn’t spell his own first name.

Odd Damage Report O’ The Week:

Couch falls on fence,
causing $200 in damage.

A man whose car was recently broken into provided officers with a list of items stolen from the car. Either there’s an insurance claim on this stuff or some car thief hit pay dirt. The stolen items, valued at more than $8,500, included: a diamond ring, 80 gig iPod, gold chain, gold watch, air mattress, Gameboy Advance, portable DVD player, flat panel computer monitor, CB radio, Dell laptop computer, four flashdrives, and miscellaneous software.

Scary Threat
O’ The Week:

A crutch left outside a woman’s home with a post-it note that read “Bitch.”

A man apprehended for not stopping for police after he crashed his car downtown noted the reason he didn’t stop was because he thought the officer pursuing him was a particular “bald-headed motherfucker” that he hates. “Next time you try to stop me get on the loudspeaker and tell me it’s you and I’ll stop,” he told the officer.

Ironic Theft
O’ The Week:

Five prepaid cell phones

An officer found a 19-year-old CofC student sprawled out on the sidewalk Sept. 13. He asked for her ID, and she handed him her bank card. When he asked a second time, she handed him a gift card. Shop ’til you drop, girl.

Back-to-School Theft
O’ the Week:

An eight-pack of
mechanical pencils.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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