Blotter O’ The Week:

Two women were fighting over a cell phone downtown when one of the women, apparently drunk on moonshine, stabbed the other woman in the calf with a flathead screwdriver. Rednecks are funny.

While on routine patrol, officers found a college student who had fallen down and urinated on himself while attempting to cross King Street. His iPod somehow survived. His dignity? Not so much.

Found Item O’ The Week:

A USA Today newsrack.

A local judge was receiving unwanted letters from a former law school classmate. The letters started off complimentary, but suggested he move to California. The judge wrote the man back and told him to discontinue sending more letters. The man responded with a letter that had “piece of garbage” written on the envelope and “I might as well kick your butt first chance I get.”

Threat O’ The Week:

“Bitch you gonna die! All we did was try to kill you and you won’t die.”

When a tourist was exiting the Citadel Mall a man drove up to her and said, “Nice ass.” The woman was horrified when she looked down to see that the man was exposing himself and masturbating. She immediately went to the airport to go home. Most polite city? Well, he did offer a compliment.

A West Ashley man was caught stealing a pack of condoms. When officers attempted to arrest him, the man began jumping and flailing around in an attempt to escape. It had obviously been a while.

Officers responded to a reports of an individual who was yelling loudly on three separate occasions. The man said he was voicing his opinions about U.S. policies. We’re not sure what he was saying, but if it was, “No weapons of mass destruction,” that was so 2003.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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