Blotter O’ The Week:
A shooting victim seeking help from local police found them at a Dunkin’ Donuts.

Covert Weapon O’ the Week: A machete in a 24-pack of Natural Light.

A perp apparently confused the cop arresting him with Dr. Phil, admitting that he was “trying to score. I’ve got a crack problem.”

Threat O’ the Week: “I’m gonna fire someone’s ass up — and I’m trigger happy.”

A woman woke up last week to find that someone had covered her car in mustard. They would have used ketchup, too, but it wasn’t buy one get one free. 

Pee Break O’ the Week: In front of a purple van on Market Street.

Two Farmer’s Market workers got into an argument. “There is going to be a war today,” one of the men told a witness. “The pasta guy has been fucking with me for two weeks. I guess I’m going to have to shoot him.”

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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