A subject had his name (all 10 letters) shaved in the back of his head.

A woman reporting a burglary noted that, while it wasn’t one of the items stolen, a video camera that she usually kept in her bedroom had been moved to the kitchen. We don’t know what we should be more interested in: what shenanigans she was taping in the bedroom or what Martha Stewart-inspired treats the thief felt compelled to film in the kitchen.

A man’s Land Rover was broken into on a repair shop lot. He reported that approximately $5 had been stolen, along with a number of keys that opened over 400 locks. Yeah, but he probably knew what only three of them went to.

Drunk Excuse O’ The Week:

“I can’t do this when I’m sober.”

A victim who reported her car window had been broken noted that the neighbors were having a wild party the night before. Officers found an empty Sobe bottle by the car. Unless that was a mixer, we’re going to file this one under “Bible study gone wild.”

A local saleswoman reported that her ex was sending nude pictures of her to her boss, telling him that she was having sex with clients and doing drugs on the job. The report led us to believe she still has her job — an indiction her boss either didn’t take the accusations seriously or he was impressed with her “work.”

Another Drunk Excuse O’ The Week:

“I’m too drunk to take any tests.”

Slow-witted Perp O’ The Week:

“That is my weed, but what is this all about?”

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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