Blotter O’ The Week:

A mall employee identified a potential shoplifter because the seasonal shopping bag he was carrying was, literally, so last year.

A downtown resident reported that someone had thrown a plastic bucket through his living room window. There’s no mention of a crazed transvestite in the front lawn hollering for lotion.

Police arrested a man who refused to leave the hospital. He should have been happy they gave him the option. There’s always that other way to leave the hospital.

A Marine Corps tussle ensued after two sergeants argued over a cadet who got lost while attending the local Marine Corps Ball. Aren’t they supposed to team up and hit the kid with soap or something?

Police found 16 DVDs, including Slither, on a man arrested for outstanding warrants. Officers found no “proof of ownership,” but we wouldn’t have admitted owning Slither either.

GPS Systems Stolen This Week: Four

Bikes Confiscated This Week: Seven

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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