Blotter O’ The Week:

Witnesses identified a suspect in a parking lot assault as having a “muscle build.” They also said that his friend was “nerdy looking,” proving there are instances when you find the Before and the After in the same place.

Alum O’ The Week: “I went to college. I know what it is like to be drunk and out of control…”

A teenager who reported finding someone in her home told officers that all she saw of the suspect was a black slipper. Good luck getting out of this one, Mr. Rogers.

A man suspected of driving under the influence refused a field sobriety test because he didn’t want to be embarrassed. Obviously, he is a faithful reader of this page.

Items Stolen This Week: Four bikes, three iPods, three laptops, and two GPS units

Threat O’ The Week: “I’ll give you your $5,000 back, but you won’t live to get it. I’ll have my baby’s daddy kill you.”

A woman claiming that her husband had hit her during an argument tried to convince officers that the lipstick on her shirt was blood. Well, there’s one selling point the Mary Kay lady probably didn’t see coming.

Weapon O’ The Week: A fax machine.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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