What is the DEAL with the creepy people who were in front of me at the baseball game the other night? There you were: father, mother, brother, sister, and grandma. There I was with my aunt and uncle and we sat horrified at how “close” you all were. We exchanged a few glances when I saw brother and father both caressing mother’s back. (And I mean caressing, people.) But a few swigs of beer and a little more action on the diamond allowed us to move on. However, when mommy and daughter dearest switched places and daughter played monkey in the middle, things got a LITTLE out of hand. Father, do you really think it is appropriate to snuggle that close with your daughter post-puberty? And brother: haven’t you ever seen “The Brady Bunch Movie”? Remember how creepy it was that Marcia and Greg were digging each other even though they technically weren’t brother and sister? Then why on God’s green earth did you decide to run your fingers through your sisters hair and twist it ever-so-lovingly while she took close-up pictures of your eyes and showed them to you on her digital camera. Did you people share a family bed and this is what happened? I’m not saying I hate you, but I’m gonna have to put this in the hate column just to counteract all the gratuitous affection I saw between you guys. Get a room!

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