Blotter o’ the Week: A woman claims that someone in her apartment complex set a dryer full of her clothes on fire because some people there don’t like her, according to an incident report.

After one offender threatened to “turn up” on a complainant, one officer took the time to provide a definition of the term, writing, “‘Turn up’ is street slang which means to act crazy, party, or go crazy on someone.”

A victim of a hit and run told police that the driver who rear-ended her was a young woman dressed entirely in pink. The woman claims that the other driver exited her vehicle and said, “I am so sorry that I hit you. I was texting and driving,” according to an incident report. The apologetic suspect then got back behind the wheel and drove off.

An officer spotted a woman hanging out on a porch smoking a joint as he walked past. When questioned by the officer, the woman stepped down from the porch with joint still in hand and told the officer that she was on spring break, according to an incident report.

One man called police to report that a burglar broke into his home and ran off with his pair of Yeezys.

One man decided to double down on his offenses after he was spotted with an open container while sitting outside of a downtown bar. When questioned by the officer, the man stated, “I already got one ticket tonight, so fuck it,” according to an incident report.

During a routine traffic stop, a suspect admitted to an officer that he had a pocket full of marijuana, but that wasn’t all. According to an incident report, the suspect then told the officer, “You’re going to find more weed in the car, too much not to go to jail for.” He was right. Inside the vehicle, officers found more than 200 grams of marijuana.

A man was spotted drinking a vodka tonic outside of a bar downtown before an officer told him to take the party back inside. As the officer began to leave, he noticed the same man exit the bar once again with his glass still in hand. When asked if he had a reason for bringing the drink outside, the man replied, “Not a good one.”

While sitting home one evening, a man noticed a stranger attempting to break into his front door using a credit card. The man confronted the stranger who attempted to push his way inside, but the homeowner was able to detain the suspect until the police arrived. The intoxicated offender told an officer that he had been drinking downtown and attempted to enter into the wrong house, adding that he always uses a credit card to open his door because he doesn’t have a key.

An officer responded to reports of an intoxicated man stumbling down the street and urinating on buildings. When the officer finally tracked the man down and asked him where he was going, the man replied, “Korea.”

A father called police to report that his son “has become incorrigible at the age of 16,” according to an incident report. The father told the officer that he confronted his son after finding a small amount of marijuana in his room. At this point, the son became irate and threw his father’s computer from the third-floor window and smashed a television set in the living room.

An officer was standing on a sidewalk downtown when she overheard a bouncer call out “Grab him” and “He punched me in the face,” according to an incident report. After stopping the offender, the officer was informed by a bouncer from a nearby bar that the man and his friends had been turned away from the establishment earlier in the evening. According to the bouncer, the group initially walked away, but the suspect later returned and punched the bouncer in the face before fleeing. It was during this chase that the officer stepped in to the apprehend the suspect.

An officer responded to reports of a man causing a disturbance at a medical center one afternoon. The officer was able to quickly locate the suspect who wasn’t wearing a shirt at the time. The man told the officer that he was at the office to give blood, but was asked to leave, according to an incident report. An employee informed the officer that after the man spent a few minutes knocking on the door to the office, he began to dance around to gain attention.

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