Blotter o’ the Week: A James Island woman says her husband insulted her in many ways during an argument in front of their children, but none were probably as creative as when he said she had a “whale’s vagina.”

A woman asked the man she’d been stalking to give her back the tracking device she’d placed inside of his car so that she wouldn’t be charged $300.

Someone busted a Daniel Island man’s car window and stole a revolver from the center console.

A man asked for cigarettes at a West Ashley grocery store. When the cashier handed them to him, he told her that he lost his cigarettes after he was arrested at that same grocery store last week, so he would be taking these without paying.

After looking over his credit report, a man realized someone had opened a Sprint account using his name and social security number. He now owes $9,308.50.

A West Ashley beauty supply cashier was pepper sprayed twice while a man and a woman rummaged through the shelf behind the counter.

A former employee at a downtown seafood restaurant showed up at the establishment drunk, yelling at people about how bad the food was. When confronted by an officer with everything he had done (trespassing, disorderly conduct, etc.), he replied, “So.”

A couple forgot their bag of jewelry in a safe inside of a room at an upscale downtown hotel. They returned to find that someone had taken their $5,000 gold tennis bracelet with two-carat diamonds.

While a woman was in the ICU of a downtown hospital after having a brain tumor removed, her estranged husband showed up, stole her wallet, cell phone, and car keys, and took off for Moncks Corner.

An officer says that he almost ran over a man who was standing in the middle of the road near King and Cannon streets holding a “Homeless Bless God” sign, so he cited him for obstructing a public roadway. The same man was cited again the next day, this time for holding a sign that read “HUNGRY GOD BLESS YOU” near Calhoun and Meeting streets.

An officer noticed a man standing in the alleyway on King Street “in a manner commensurate with a person urinating.”

A West Ashley motel housekeeper was the first to notice that a guest had stolen the 40-inch TV that was bolted onto the desk.

A woman was stripped of several of her belongings during a night of drinking, including a $10,000 platinum Rolex, a $650 Gucci wallet, and a $250 Tiffany ring. Her iPhone, however, was successfully located inside of a stranger’s car using Find My iPhone, which apparently finally worked for someone.

A man picked up five bracelets worth about $130 in total from a downtown boutique and fled the store.

Among the most Charleston-esque items that could be stolen from a single car: a pair of Ray-Ban Aviators, an L.L. Bean tote, a J. Crew jacket, and Tory Burch sandals.

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