Some interview subjects are as boring as yawn-inducing as a lecture on epic Russian novels and its effect on the mating rituals of sea sponges as presented via the photography of Ansel Adams.

Not Nathaniel from the 33’s, who celebrate the release of their 15-track CD tonight at Oasis. I emailed him a few questions over the weekend, and he got back to me with some of funnest answers I’ve read in a long time. Here’s what Nathaniel had to say, complete, uncut, and punk as fuck:

1. How do you describe your sound?

drunken jesuit monks say it sounds like kong.

broken down its like this: if the goonies had a brutal coital adventure with red dawn’s wolverines and they made rabid but daring sweet unprotected love at the hot gates of thermopylae just as the setting sun said its final good nights to all the grecian sky and then nine months later their burnt aborted fetus came back to life with bubbles in its brain and the creature had been named sloth and sloth was constantly rattling its chains of repression screaming for its rocky bloody road and baby fucking ruth… yeah something like that. kind of a mix of old school working class street punk with some old school americana kick your teeth out your arse punk fucking rock. the kind of music deaf vikings fuck to. cuz sloth love chunk.

2. What’s the status of the Holy City punk scene?

its waxing. like a fine lunar cycle. yes yes… it has its moments.

por hemplo: we did a gig with guttermouth at the oasis one night and the turn out was fucking awesome. we plaid with them again in salt lake city and the crowd wasn’t anywhere near as rowdy. they kept on asking if every punk show was like that in charleston. i lied and told them “oh its like that every fucking night, so go tell yer friends, charleston is the place to be”  which is really good considering that most bigger bands (espeshully in the punk rock genre) either hit charlotte, columbia, or atlanta bypassing the holy city much like the famed war criminal general willy t. sherman.

so the word is deaf fin it leigh getting out there. WE DO NEED MORE OF A TURN OUT AT ALL LOCAL SHOWS. not just for us and punk shows but for all local bands from all genre’s. but we’re getting there. just like john rambo said “day by day”.

3. It’s good to hear you guys touch on the more political/social commentary aspect of punk and not the I-fuck-rich-heiresses-and-play-on-TRL-bling-me-baby still of punk that dominates today. What’s the appeal of this more socially aware style of punk for you guys? (I’m hearing something that sounds a bit like Dead Kennedys meets Bad Religion.)

wow, thanks for the compliment. thats a pretty fucking rad come parra some. uh pree she ated. much.

(i personally have no problems with mtv… except it just seems that now a days they don’t really play that much music as uh pozed to a bloody mess of trite shite reality shows and if they do play actual music its your basic run of the mill spoon fed top 40 bilge filth that seems to be so widely excepted as some passa bull form of what represents our youth. ok, i might have a few problems with mtv but mtv has the potential to be a great way for music lovers to really discover what’s out there. but as usual they keep fucking it up. now, i am not one to bash any band that has been on mtv (hell, i say lets be fucking musical pirates and use any medium to get our message out that we can! why limit yourself? ever? we only get one shot at life. carpe fucking diem ese) but i don’t agree with… nor am i down with all the celeb worship thats its turned into. i do think that that part stinks like a dead dog’s dirty corpse of a vagina off some carolina road kill

on rout 17 south. yuk.

ok… so here’s the deal with the lyrics… me personally… i write about things that i have ex pier rienced… ie: whether its dirty smelly punk travels with my brother and mates or living and working in different cities around the country… right to the point of getting a worm ridden stack of loose stools and a continually destroyed immune system. if you’ve done it you know what i’m speaking of.

as far as politics. well, i love this country. i do. i love it so much that i took an oath to defend it.

we all loved this country. i come from a military family. my older brother did two tours over seas winning two bronze stars so for me the flag represents the real people who make this country. us. the workers. i love all the history that goes behind the makings of this great country. every thing from the sons of liberty to the formation of the o.s.s. to the fact that as much as our asinine foreign policy has chafed the world… we are still the most charitable nation on the face of the earth. despite our politicians and the special interest groups who seem to forget the bigger picture… that we the people are a good people. we the people want to help those who need help and generally make the world of better place. but we need to stop being the world’s police force. like in a crashing aircraft: you put your own mask on first before you help others.

now… the fly in the ointment here is our leaders. yes its quite the fucking rub. a perfect example of humanity is the christmas truce of 1914. see… we the people of all countries have the ability to make the world work. (remember during hurricane hugo when the city had no power, no traffic lights and yet it seemed to breed a continual communal growth of good behavior. that and the fact that i had three weeks off from school, fuck yeah mother nature!) i think that most people (though not all people) truly  want the world to be a better place an are willing to make an effort to change that. though at times it does seem that apathy is winning our fight but in the end i believe we can do it.

i watch a lot of the news and i am continually dissa pointed at the calibre of our news programs. for reals… msnbc is so far left thats its bordering on comical. is it too much to ask if we can get a completely objective news program that tells the fucking truth. just the fax mam. just the fax.

and our leaders… they talk so much shit that it actually starts to sound like they believe their own lies.  there is always so much hate from both the left wing and the right wing thats its fucking mind boggling. when i watch the news and our leaders go back and forth its any wonder that we ever became a super power at all. you don’t achieve greatness through partisan bickering. here’s a little analogy for ya… they say that the eagle represents america. the eagle has two wings. if both wings don’t want to cooperate then that bird if fucking grounded and it aint going no wheres. it as simple as that. united we stand divided we fall. duh. all i hear from inside the beltway is a nonstop ass fuck of a blame game.

(and don’t get me started on the omnibus 2009 stamp act. they keep telling us that its our money… so why the fuck can’t we have it? how great would it be for all tax payers to get their just share of the stimulus money? why can’t that happen? because its all power man. bullshit fucking power.)

um… yeah so in a nut shell… i try to use music as a way to get my message across to people…  whether you agree or disagree i’m letting you know what i think and hopefully it might make the right people think about the right things and start getting more people moving in a more productive manner.

4. So where exactly is “Boozer’s Alley”?

tribeca. manhattan. its a cold dark stench of a trench of an alley that served me and my fellow piratical coworkers as a much needed haven to pound the holy hell out of god’s greatest beverage: malt fucking liquor.

(we had a bodega across the street from a hotel i worked at and when things got a little slow we would quite often pop in for an iced cold king fuckin’ cobra to satisfy our lascivious lust for our late night libations. it was our depot. our px. we would then proceed to saunter to our aptly named alley of choice and get down right pish drunk. it was quite funny to be hanging out drinking with street bums wearing their gobbled garb of what not and with us soho and tribeca grand bellmen all decked out in the latest french connection zoot suits with skinny black neck ties and walkie talkies sharing blunt and bat hits with some of the hardest people i have ever met. (their stories alone… wow)  and being that this was quite the fire ring of offenses we had to do it in shifts. very fast shifts. like jedi ninja hobo drunken navy seal pirate yoda delta force fast shifts)

5. Tell me about the new CD. How many tracks, when did you record it, when will it be released and by whom?

its 15 trax of pure punk rock mayhem. we recorded it about a year ago with jamie rodgers and its coming out on mighty science records. booya. i like it. its my first real recorded album. we are very proud to have been apart of making it. nic our new guitar axe slinger designed it. he’s good at what he does. and he’s fucking quick with a ninja sword. he will fuck zombies up.  the cd will be available at the release show on the FRIDAY the 13th at the oasis. 10 bux gets you in plus a spanking new copy of the cd “NEVER SAY DIE”. molon labe.

6. Anything else you want to say?

yeah, fart naked america.

laugh more. hate less. put malt liquor on tap.

oh, and mayor joe, you needs to fix the fucking parking debacle downtown. 25 dollar violations! fo reals yo! its bloody horrendous. and you say parking garages is your solution? see what mean? thats your typical “LOOKS GOOD ON PAPER BUT NOT VERY EFFECTIVE IN THE REAL WORLD TYPE OF THINKING THATS FUCKING US ALL UP”. come on joe your smarter than that.


legalize weed. end that stupid prohibition. duh.

and legalize graffiti. its pretty.

and pray for our men and woman in the armed forces.

and bring back bloom county.

i miss it.