In 2006, then-School Board member Sandi Engleman suggested Superintendent Maria Goodloe-Johnson had been on “CPT.” Critics jumped on this, saying it was a reference to “Colored People’s Time,” but the City Paper offered up a few alternative definitions. With School Board Vice Chairwoman Nancy Cook now facing her own critics for a radio interview where she mentioned possibly sterilizing unfit mothers, we thought we’d pull a few suggested fixes from our collective hat.

What she said: “We’re not paying for another baby, maybe one baby, but after that, we’re taking the baby. And maybe you get sterilized. I know that sounds kind of extreme and radical…”

• Excuse #1: Hers

“Clearly, to suggest that I would be for such a radical idea would be against my morals, beliefs, and life work.”

• Excuse #2: A Matter of Punctuation

“… And maybe you get sterilized. I — No. That sounds kinds of extreme and radical…”

• Excuse #3: Means to an End

“I didn’t say we’d make them sterile, only that they might get sterilized. That could happen naturally or by accident.”

• Excuse #4: Misspoke

“Sterilized?! I meant to say vaccinated. My goodness!” Note: Meek shock is key.

• Excuse #5: Generational Gap

“That’s not the word the kids were using on ‘Pimp My Ride’? You know, ‘That car’s so hot, it’s sterile.’ No? My bad, dog.”

• Excuse #6: Sybil

“Who said that? I didn’t say that.”

• Excuse #7: Not a morning person

“I hadn’t had my coffee yet.”

• Excuse #8: A morning person

“I had too much coffee.”

• Excuse #9: Writers Strike

“I saw too many episodes of Law and Order and/or Mama’s Family.”

• Excuse #10: Mystical

“Sandi Engleman has a voodoo doll of me. That’s all I’m saying.”