I Live Next Door to Horses, the sketch comedy duo from Chicago and members of the improv group, The Reckoning. They gave their final show of this year’s Piccolo Spoleto tonight at Theatre 99.

One sketch involves two elderly ladies watching old TV shows from days when they were fresh and beautiful and young.

They reminisce about TV, memories, and the previous states of their respective pussies. I doubt I’ll think of The Vagina Monologues quite the same way again. If Ron Paul thinks freedom is under siege, he should have checked out I Live Next to Horses tonight. These old gals long for the days when they could be on MILF Island competing in Erection Cove. Freedom is alive and well, just a little dry and wrinkled.

“My pussy used to be so wet,” called Holly Laurent.

“How wet was it,” replied Jet Eveleth.

“My pussy was so wet that if you took it down to New Orleans, they’d say, ‘Hey, is that you, Katrina?'”

Runner-up:

“My pussy used to be so hot,” called Laurent.

“How hot was it,” replied Eveleth.

“My pussy used to be so hot that if you ate it, you’d do it with a side of celery and blue cheese dressing.”

And, finally, a bonus joke:

“My pussy used to be so busy,” called Laurent.

“How busy was it,” replied Eveleth.

“My pussy used to be so busy that it needed an executive calendar,” Laurent said. “Like the president.”