RE-BRANDING DEPT.: Southern Baptists finally made a step toward removing the regional distinction from their denomination’s name on Monday night. After a meeting in Nashville that no doubt involved fried chicken and several pot-luck casseroles, leaders from the Southern Baptist Convention stopped short of recommending a legal name change, but they did propose an alternative moniker for churches that don’t want to identify as Southern: Great Commission Baptists. Apparently nobody in the room knew that ABC had already called dibs on the acronym GCB for its upcoming drama series based on the book Good Christian Bitches.

RYAN GOSLING DEPT.: Columbia-based videographer Joey Thompson is Internet-famous once again, this time for a YouTube video he posted about how to look like Ryan Gosling. Thompson and his video production company, Dinobrite Productions, have previously been featured on Tosh.0 and whipped up some serious online buzz for “Rock Out (With Your Gamecock Out),” a music video that was deemed “too ‘thug'” by the University of South Carolina administration in 2010.

In his latest solo effort, Thompson gives tongue-in-cheek pointers on how to dress, talk, and make facial expressions like the Second-Sexiest Man Alive. The video has racked up nearly 300,000 hits in about a week, and already he has received several online marriage proposals and a request to do a muscle-car photo shoot in Germany (“You know, I’m not gonna be in the Germany area any time soon,” he told the person. “If you could fly me out there, I could do that.”). He has now started a campaign to get Ellen DeGeneres to feature himself and Gosling as guests on her show, telling his Twitter followers to bombard @TheEllenShow with the hashtag #joeyonellen. In case you haven’t seen it, here’s the video:

GAY MAN’S DISEASE DEPT.: The Aiken Standard ran a story recently about the new S.C. Equality custom license plates being offered through the Department of Motor Vehicles. Here’s how one guy responded in a letter to the editor:

I take umbrage with an article written in the paper concerning the S.C. license plates supporting gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders. So, the LGBT’s of South Carolina want to solicit support from the community to push forward their agenda. Well, I’m not in support of it, and neither should any responsible person or entity be. Homosexuality is one of the leading causes of the deadliest disease known to mankind for which there is absolutely no cure — AIDS.

(As a side note, he’s wrong on multiple levels in that last sentence.)

What if we ask the citizens of South Carolina to support and further the cause of the Black Plague, which killed more than 100 million people world wide? Now that would sound foolish.

Yeah, that would sound pretty foolish. Read a response to the letter here.