Theft O’ The Week:

Seven sticks of deodorant

A woman reported someone had stolen her day planner from her car. Police should stake out the Rosenbaum conference at 10:30, “lunch” at noon, and the manicurist at 4:30 for potential leads.

A woman filed a complaint with police that a former member of her neighborhood association was sending deceitful letters to other members of the board to get her thrown off. She also said that every time he sees her, he begins yelling lies about her. Witnesses include Susan, Lynette, Bree, and Gabrielle.

When asked for his drivers license during a traffic stop, a man provided what he referred to as an “international drivers license.” Buddy, this is South Carolina! There ain’t nothing international allowed around here that don’t get served with pancakes.

Unknown persons broke into a home under construction and left shit all over the living room, including taking a dump on “critical” blueprints. Now we know what happens when Ty Pennington gets too excited on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.