Blotter O’ The Week:

A young woman was trying on a dress at a downtown boutique last week. When the owner suggested the woman should try a larger size, the shopper became enraged and ripped the dress off and ran out of the store. Oh, that humiliating mile of fabric between a size 0 and a size 1.

Unfortunate Message O’ The Week:
“Call the cops, and I’ll take them out.”

A man filed a complaint about an argument with his wife that turned a little violent (she bit, choked, shoved, and slapped him around). Then it turned really violent (she “tried to stick my penis in my butt”).

Responding to a call of shots fired, police found only a digital camera at the scene. Officers reviewed the pictures to see if they could determine who the owner was, or to see if Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee made a sequel.

Officers came upon a man who had crashed his car into a chain-link fence. The drunk man took two steps out of the car and fell, his pants falling down in the process. He then grabbed at the officer’s legs “in a hugging motion.” The man was arrested for DUI. If only Larry Craig had alcohol for an excuse.

Threat O’ The Week:
“I’ll stop at nothing until I’ve burned you like you’ve burned me.”

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.