Unnecessary Explanation O’ The Week:

“Coke — which is the street slang for cocaine.”

After being slapped around by her boyfriend, an East Side woman tricked him into riding with her to the police station. When he realized she wasn’t picking up a Slutty Santa suit after all, the boyfriend fled.

Weapon O’ The Week:


A man was arrested for shoplifting two clocks and batteries from a downtown store. In response, security at Flava Flav’s mansion has been raised to Level Orange.

Threat O’ The Week:
“There are two people I’m going to take care of — the guy who shot me and you.”

A woman docked at a local marina reported that her iPod had been stolen from her rental car. Police are on the lookout for anyone with a wooden leg, eye patch, and parrot, jamming to Christopher Cross’ “Sailing.”

Three mopeds stolen downtown were retrieved within three hours, proving the wisest investment is something with absolutely no street value.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.