Investigating a string of burglaries, police questioned a suspicious man with two travel bags tied to the front of his bicycle. The man claimed the numerous items in the bags were found in the trash, including: two Pat Green CDs, a Cypress Hill CD, a Cooper River Bridge Run medallion, various jewelry, makeup, electronic devices, and a bag of human hair. We’re hoping the bag of hair really was trash … same with those Pat Green CDs.

Bizarre Description O’ The Week: A woman suspected of shoplifting was described as wearing several layers of clothes with “Jamaican” accessories.

A woman found a hand grenade while raking her yard. The weapon wasn’t active and police disposed of it. As if we needed another excuse to put off yard work.

A man suspected of driving under the influence hit another vehicle, sending its passengers, including a three-year-old, to the hospital. His first words when the officer arrived on the scene: “I need my lawyer.” Um, yeah.

A West Ashley shoe store employee contacted police after three women who had been threatening her entered the store and started throwing shoes at her, chasing her into the stock room. At least she could take comfort that the big and wide shoes were in the back with her.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.