Blotter O’ The Week:

Upset over a troubled relationship with her boyfriend/roommate, a woman cut the cords to the microwave and the coffee maker — which would really piss us off if there wasn’t a Starbucks on every block in Charleston.

A young woman partied a little too hard on New Year’s Eve. Come 2008, she couldn’t remember how she got home or where her car was. A friend told the hungover reveler that a man drove her home in her car, but it was nowhere to be found. So much for that resolution to be more trusting of others.

A pregnant woman weeks from delivery was accused last week of busting in a car window during a scuffle. We don’t know if anger is hereditary, but we’d return Barbie’s convertible for a safer baby gift.

Threat O’ The Week: “Y’all shoot and miss, y’all gonna die!”

A former employee of a downtown hotel was harassing the hotel staff for her last check, which they told her was in the mail. Police warned her to stop calling, but she persisted, saying she “knew her 10 Commandments and her Fifth Amendment.” We’re assuming she’s referring to the missing text of each document: “Thou Shalt Not Hold My Check” and “No Person Shall Be Deprived of Life, Liberty, And Their Final Check.”

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.