Blotter O’ The Week:

A man walked past several orange traffic cones and signs warning “Beware of Dog,” eventually getting bit on his hand and thigh by a pit bull.

A woman came home from a trip and told police that her TV, computer, and laptop had been stolen. Her apartment had been rearranged and food was missing from the kitchen. Is she sure she came back to the right house?

A man paying for his order at a James Island drive-thru window was fondling himself through his open pants as he told the cashier, “You’re so sexy.” If he was looking for Climax, the world’s only drive-thru strip club, he was only off by about 655 miles.

Threat O’ The Week: “There’s gonna be bodies in the grave.”

Found Item O’ the Week: A suspected burglar broke into a woman’s car and left behind a set of gold-plated teeth inserts.

Stolen this week: Five GPS units, three iPods, one bike

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.