Blotter O’ The Week:

A doughnut store reported that someone stole four trays of the tasty treats. We have no doubt the police department will put every resource to tracking down this fiend.

Items Stolen This Week: Four iPods, two GPS units, and two bikes.

A mother was arguing with her son in the drive-thru at a West Ashley fast food joint when he got out of the car and walked away. She contacted police, but it was evident to us that he wasn’t serious about running away — he left his cell phone in the car. Sure enough, he returned home.

Recruitment Pitch O’ The Week: “You better join us or we’ll kill you.”

Weapon O’ The Week: A beer can

A driver took off with a car that had been booted downtown for a parking violation. A city employee followed the damage as the car dragged the boot to the top of the Ravenel Bridge, where it finally fell off. The employee determined that the tire had been destroyed in the process. Proving the age-old lesson that a three-wheeled car will only get you so far.

A man arrested for public drunkenness could tell officers his name and birthday, but he couldn’t remember his age and, when asked what year it was, he told officers it was 2010. Hey, who wouldn’t want to skip the ’09 recession?

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.