O’ The Week:

Citizen: “Why do I have to give you my gun?”

Officer: “Because I am the police, and you answered the door with a shotgun.”

Items Stolen This Week: Three bikes, three laptops, nine GPS units, and six iPods

A man arrested for disorderly conduct “yelled obscenities almost incoherently,” according to a police report. Kind of defeats the point of cussing at someone if they don’t understand what you’re saying.

Quote O’ The Week: “Damn, I forgot I had that on me.”

A downtown man suspects that a rival fraternity was responsible for throwing a beer can through a window in his house. We think it’s doubtful — the beer was unopened.

The owner of a car involved in a hit and run told police that he was only the passenger. He’d given the keys to another man that he just met and the two were on their way to a strip club when the accident happened. The mystery man drove away from the scene and eventually fled on foot, leaving the car owner to face the police. Now we know why Paris Hilton and Brody Jenner test out BFFs on reality TV. 

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.