Vandalism O’ The Week: A milk carton through a window

You can tell it’s getting hot in Charleston. There were three shoplifting cases this week involving cologne or perfume. If you don’t see the connection between humid summer days and cologne, then yes, that smell is you.

Threat O’ The Week: “I should kill you. I’ll do the time.”

A local store manager contacted police when an unknown man entered the business, cussing and yelling. He eventually handed the manager several pieces of paper with the names of employees and the words “buried alive.” On the bright side, they’re still working.

Drunk O’ the Week: A police report states that the suspect couldn’t say L, M, N, O, P, instead mumbling “en-ah-men-ah-P.” What are the odds he was at that tea-bagging party last week?

A strange person warned a local resident to be aware of “mischievous things.” The homeowner later found her three Japanese goldfish stabbed through with a knife and thrown back in her backyard pond.

Thefts O’ The Week: Seven bikes, three iPods, five GPS units, and a laptop

A bouncer at a downtown bar threw out a patron last week in front of an officer. While the cop was speaking with the employee, the patron began peeing on a nearby wall. We’d pick the street over jail toilets, too. The cops probably confiscate your hand sanitizer.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.