The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

A woman left a Folly Road restaurant on May 6 to find that her Chevy Malibu had been broken into and that $150 in cash, a digital camera, a debit card, and a pillbox containing birth control pills had been taken. Wow, those Opus Dei Catholics have really gotten out of control.

Also on May 7, two kids threw a piece of brick through the front window of a King Street apartment. The resident heard the two delinquents yelling about the “cracker” who lives there. Those kids deserve a beating when they get home, and not any regular saltines beating — they deserve a “Ritz” beating.

Top Chef Rip-Off Threat O’The Week, Bitch:

“You gonna get what you got coming, bitch.”

In the past month, an MUSC employee has been receiving phone calls, text messages, and e-mails from the wife of one of her coworkers. The wife, convinced that her husband is having an affair with the woman, left messages saying, “You are going to pay,” “You will hurt like I’m hurting,” “I’ll ruin your career,” and, “The game is over.” Talk is cheap — thanks to SunCom.

On May 7, a 40ish man entered a King Street grocery store, placed a white plastic bag on the counter, and demanded money. “Put everything inside the bag and I won’t give you any trouble,” he told a shaken counter girl. “You better not press any buttons or call the police,” he said before making off with $409 in cash.