A man dressed in drag entered a King Street jewelry store on Feb. 3, mentioned he’d just received his tax return, and asked to take a look at a few expensive pieces. The man was wearing slim women’s jeans, a puffy jacket with a fur hood, blonde braids, and a red pocketbook. While checking out bracelets worth $2,800 and $1,600, respectively, he suddenly ran out of the store.

On Jan. 29, a young man was detained at a West Ashley discount store for opening the packaging of a Brooks and Dunn CD and attempting to exit the store without paying. Oh, silly Generation Y — stealing when they could be illegally downloading.

Blotter Threat O’ The Week: “If it takes me going to jail, or getting a gun, I won’t stop calling you.”

Cops were called on Jan. 29 when a downtown student realized her washer and dryer electrical cords had been cut. A note left nearby read, “Two can play at this game, bitch.” The woman mentioned that she’d been feuding with her ex-roommate, who had been sleeping with her boyfriend.

During the wee hours of Feb. 3, a man left the downtown Harris Teeter after snagging a pack of Oscar Mayer cheese hot dogs. He was found 40 minutes later on King and Cannon. Oh, I wish I weren’t an Oscar Mayer stealer.

Blotter Chivalrous Statement O’ The Week: “The crack is mine. Don’t put it on my girl.”

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.