BLOTTER O’ the Week:

An odd twist on Romeo and Juliet: “Come to the window,I got a gun. If I can’t have you, no one else can.”

A woman told a man that she knew his mother is a lesbian and that it was okay because her son is gay. The man wasn’t happy and later left her a voicemail, stating, “I’ll shoot you in the fucking head if you talk about my mother again.”

Good Try O’ the Week:

“I’ve got a little bit of weed, but it’s real old, in my pocket.”

A man reported his car was vandalized, with the following scratched on it: “Come 10-mile, c me bitch, fuck dog, mix don’t try it no more, and fuck 4 10 mile.” No word on if the man outed anyone’s mother.

Highbrow Theft O’ the Week:

A copy of The New York Times.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.