Blotter O’ the Week:

An off-duty officer spotted a kid skateboarding by the wharf. The officer told him he needed to stop, but the boarder ignored him. Then the cop informed him that he was an officer and showed his badge. The kid responded with, “I’m a cop too,” and continued further. The kid was arrested, and while sitting in the back seat of the cop car, the cop noticed some “furtive movements.” A search of the kid led the officer to find pot and cocaine on him. All he had to do was stop skateboarding. Don’t kids watch COPS anymore?

Honest Criminals O’ the Week:

• Two guys were approached by an officer for standing in a marked “No Trespassing” area. The officer asked if the suspects had any weapons or contraband on them and one guy freely answered, “I have a blunt in my rear pants pocket.” If you get that kind of honesty in the first five seconds, think of what kind of politician he’d make.

• An officer noticed a man sitting suspiciously in a running car on the curb. When the officer ran the tags of the car, he found that the vehicle had been stolen. He approached the vehicle and asked the man to exit. While being frisked, the man says to the officer, “I have a pipe in my pocket, take it out before you get cut.” Real stand-up guy — except for the drugs and the stolen car.

Excuse for Drug Paraphernalia O’ the Week:

“It’s a scale for my jewelry.”

A woman walked into a local gas station and told the cashier she worked at another station in the chain and her boss had sent her to get some cigarettes. The cashier gave her $150 worth of cigarettes, realizing hours after the woman left that she may have been lying. Maybe the cashier should have asked for proof the woman worked for the company. Or maybe the cashier could have given the woman a pop quiz on how long the hot dogs had been in the turner or how many varieties of M&M’s there are.

Random Act of Violence O’ the Week:

A woman reported someone came up and punched her in the chest for no reason while she was attending a bible study. Um, turn the other cheek?

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.