The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

Cop Partners Last Names O’The Week:
Feeter and Tugya.

On Dec. 6, Naval Criminal Investigation Services arrested a man, 37, near the corner of Beaufain and Coming streets after he sold an undercover officer some cocaine. In other NCIS news, Mark Harmon is still one sexy bitch.

A cook at a downtown Asian restaurant, angered last week by a customer asking for her money back after discovering a human hair in her box of rice, threw it back at the woman. That’s the thing about Chinese food — an hour later, you just want somebody to throw it at you again.

Blotter Threat O’The Week:
“I will find out who you are and I will end you, I will end your life,” said by a man to a bank teller who had refused to cash a check on the man’s aged mother’s account. (Note: use of the word “man” connotes gender only.)

Blotter Misspelled Incident Report Words O’The Week:
“approxmitely,” “Medalion,” and “saught.”

After being arrested for attempting to steal four glass Glade air fresheners, a man told police he planned to “resell the items on the street for a profit.” Oh, yeah, what street is that — Stank Ass Boulevard?