Freaky Threat O’ The Week:

“I’m going to kill you eight ways.”

After chasing off a man sleeping in the crawl space under a downtown home, police were surprised to find the man had returned with a mattress, bed linens, a bag of clothing, and a lady friend.

Drunk’s Last Comment To a Cop Before His Arrest O’ The Week:

“Dick Head”

In explaining the field sobriety tests to a suspected drunk driver, an officer asked whether the man had any medical conditions that would affect his balance. The man replied, “Absolutely not! I’m a stud!” We imagine that, had he mentioned a bum leg, he would have been put out of his misery.

A drugstore manager witnessing a man taking three 12-packs of Icehouse said she recognized him from her neighborhood and that his name was Toody or Rudy. And now we can’t get “Tootie Fruity” out of our heads.

A woman reported finding a computer disk with pictures of severely injured people on it stacked with the rest of her computer discs. She says it may have been left to scare her by her estranged boyfriend.

An unknown woman left a message on a Daniel Island man’s voicemail, stating “I just want to let you know that very bad things shall be happening to you in about one week. Precisely, someone may be dead in your future, and somebody, such as yourself, may die. Good day.” Hey, Charleston isn’t the most polite city in the country for nothing.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.