BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: While Gatorade is typically dumped on a coach’s head after a big victory, a man chose the middle of a domestic dispute to pour the drink on his wife.

Police checking a woman’s purse asked if it contained anything they should know about. The woman responded, “There might be some blood in there, but it’s from my period.”

Your House is My House Threat O’ the Week: “I know where you live, and that’s where I live now, bitch.”

A man suspected of driving drunk offered an excuse for speeding: “I’m having a date tonight. My sister is the mayor’s goat.”

Police asked three men how much they had had to drink. One of the men pointed around the circle as he answered, “I had 12, and he had eight, and he had a few less. So, let’s say we each had nine. That sounds like a good average.”

Asked how much he had to drink one evening, a man answered, “One beer … an hour… for seven days.”

Found passed out in the back of a truck he didn’t recognize, on a street he had never seen, wearing only his underwear, a young man explained to officers, “I’m drunk in Rockville. Just take me to the Rockville drunk tank.”

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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