Blotter o’ the Week: A woman was observed shoplifting by a store manager who confronted the woman after she exited the store without paying. The woman turned over multiple pairs of superhero underwear before fleeing the scene.

Fan o’ the Week: America’s favorite pastime got the best of one fan who leaped onto the field during a baseball game. After being escorted away, he admitted to officers he “had a couple of shots,” according to the incident report. The man asked multiple times if he could hug one of the officers but was denied permission and informed it would be inappropriate. He also told the officers, “I’ve got your back, guys” and asked if he had really jumped onto the field. 

A man parked his motorcycle on the sidewalk outside his mother’s apartment. He was told there was a fine for leaving his bike in that location, but continued upstairs. The man returned to find his bike lying on the ground. He reported to the officer that a neighbor claimed responsibility and said, “I don’t give a fuck. Fuck your bike,” according to the incident report. The neighbor admitted that he pushed the bike over because it was parked on the sidewalk. That’s probably not the fine he had in mind.

An officer responded to a grocery store after a suspect was caught attempting to shoplift an electric toothbrush. Due to the minimal cost of the item, the store owner said he did not wish to press charges. It seemed like things were looking up for the suspect until a routine background check returned an outstanding warrant. The suspect was taken into custody, a victim of his own dental hygiene. 

Around midnight, officers responded to a liquor store regarding a disorderly customer. The woman was found yelling at other customers inside. After providing police with multiple fake names, a search recognized one of the woman’s aliases and she was placed on trespass notice from the store. 

Police received a tip from a female caller regarding the location of a suspect with a warrant for drug possession. They stopped by a restaurant to question an employee fitting the caller’s description. The suspect removed his apron and handed it to his girlfriend, but the officer noticed more to the exchange. Wrapped in the apron was a marijuana grinder. The officer also found a pipe in the man’s hand. Both contained marijuana residue. Ironically, the suspect’s background check returned no warrants.

Officers noticed a man peeing behind two trash cans. They stopped the man and asked, “Do you live nearby?” to which he replied, “I live around the corner.” This begged the question, “If you live around the corner, why did you urinate behind the trash can?” Faced with the unexplainable, the man replied, “I don’t even fucking know, man.”

Someone stole almost $600 in perfumes and lotions from a retail store. The perpetrator should be easily identified by the overwhelming aroma of this season’s hottest fragrances. 

A man called police after receiving 33 harassing text messages from his ex in the span of an hour and a half. The man told police that the relationship ended several years ago after his ex accused him of bigamy. 

Two women called police after finding a former boyfriend hiding in a closet in the vacant apartment downstairs from one of their homes. One woman told the officer that she felt sorry for the man and had repeatedly invited him to stay the night. The officer advised against this as it seems to be confusing the man.

Late one night, a man was found sitting in a fountain in a public park. The man pointed out that there was no sign posted saying he couldn’t wade around in the public fountain. The officer noted that this was the second time in several months the man was found in that location and was notified of other nearby fountains better suited for that use. 


Proving there are worse people than the IRS, a woman received a message from someone claiming to be a tax collector. The woman was told she owed money for delinquent taxes and was directed to purchase a prepaid credit card from a nearby pharmacy to submit her payment. She then proceeded to provide the card information to the caller. The victim became suspicious when asked to mail the card to the caller. She attempted to cancel the payment but it was too late. 

An officer stopped a man after watching him duck between two buildings and begin to empty the contents of a bottle wrapped in a brown paper bag into a water bottle. The officer confirmed that the clear liquid was vodka and forced the man to dispose of the bottles. According to the incident report, the man said he knew what he was doing was wrong, but didn’t want to wait until he got home.