Badass o’ the Week: A woman returned to her car after a night out on the town with her mother and found a stranger asleep in the driver seat. She asked the man what he was doing in her car, and he replied, “Leave me alone.” She told him to get out, and he said, “Fuck you.” She warned him that she was going to pull him out of the vehicle if he didn’t get out himself. He replied, “Good luck,” and tried to pull the door shut. She says she then pulled the man out of the car, struck him several times, and pinned him to the floor of the parking garage while she waited for police to arrive. She later said she didn’t want to press charges because she believed the man was so drunk that he thought it was his own car.

A man who was peeing on the side of a building told police that he was doing it because the lines to get into nightclubs were too long.

Two days after Christmas, a man stole two toys from a convenience store by hiding them in his waistband. Sounds like somebody didn’t get what he wanted from Santa.

A taxi driver picked up a man and woman from a strip club, but he had to pull over when one of them vomited in the backseat and the couple started arguing with each other. When the driver called police, the man said, “Call the police! I will cut any cop that shows up.” An officer arrived and arrested the pair on charges of drunkenness.

Somebody used a pair of metal shears to cut two holes in the steel walls of a building. This set off a security alarm in the building, but nothing was reported stolen.

After seeing that nobody had made any rentals from a particular video rental station in about two-and-a-half days, a company manager went out to the site and discovered that someone had shattered the screen.

A man says someone broke into his house and stole some jewelry, an Xbox 360, an Xbox One, and some of his videogames. The man said he owned about 30 or 40 games, but only 15 to 20 were stolen. Apparently, ain’t nobody want to play the original Halo anymore.

Weapon o’ the Week: A metal chair, swung at a car windshield and a person.

A rabbi called police after someone spray-painted a pyramid with an All-Seeing Eye and the letters “RAH” on the side of his synagogue. Also seen on the walls of the house of worship: a blue bear, two marijuana leaves, a peace sign, and the words “BLAZER 2014.” We blame the Illuminati, man.

A domestic disturbance began when a woman learned via Instagram that her boyfriend was cheating on her with another woman. #nofilter #noplayers

A man called police to report that someone had stolen his 10-foot trailer from an apartment complex parking lot. He said the trailer probably still had forced entry marks on the rear doors and “torch burn marks on the tongue” from the last time it was stolen.

Open Containers o’ the Week: A mini-bottle of Smirnoff vodka in a purse, a bottle of liquor in a pickup truck, a three-quarters full bottle of Jack Daniels in a disabled vehicle, a 24-oz. can of Twisted Tea in the cup holder of a pickup truck, a 16-oz. can of Icehouse Edge in a paper bag at a bus stop, and another 16-oz. can of Icehouse Edge that a man tried to hide on a window sill as he walked into a store.

An officer was checking on a vehicle that was parked in traffic near an intersection and noticed that the driver seemed disoriented and was slurring his words. When asked if he knew where he was, the man could only answer, “The Carolinas.” A search of the vehicle turned up an open bottle of liquor, three foil packets of synthetic marijuana, and a pill bottle with marijuana residue inside it.

A police officer watched as a man stumbled from the street onto a sidewalk and started walking away. At some point the man’s pants fell down around his ankles, but he appeared not to notice and kept on walking. The cop arrested him on a charge of public drunkenness.

A police officer stopped a woman who was squatting and peeing between two vehicles. When she went into one of the vehicles to get her ID out of her purse, the cop spotted a mini-bottle of vodka inside the purse with the seal broken. She received tickets for public urination and an open-container violation.

Police stopped a man who was driving in the middle of the roadway, searched his vehicle, and discovered an open container of alcohol and a baggie containing 2.8 grams of cocaine.

Early Christmas morning, the residents of a house called police to say they’d heard multiple gunshots in the area and that they thought one of the rounds may have hit their house.