Blotter o’ the week: Officers noticed a woman sitting on a concrete barrier at Marion Square sipping beer through a straw. Talk about a look.

A man produced a pay stub in the middle of the night as proof of employment after a drunk guy on the street asked him, “Why don’t you get a job?”

A man stole three packages of cold relief tablets from a downtown discount store.

Cops were unable to locate a man who called about a domestic disturbance. He later told officers he went to the store to buy beer while he waited for them to show.

Someone stole a TV off the wall of a Meeting Street chicken joint.

Two people stole seven laptops, a PS4 headset, and a computer monitor from a James Island big box store by hiding the merchandise in their cargo shorts. Total value: $2,151.82.

A woman was found lying face down and bleeding from her head, nose, and mouth near a downtown intersection. Thankfully, a nurse who happened to be driving past the scene stopped when she saw the woman stumble, fall, hit her head on the curb, and have a seizure.

A man, who was later cited with simple possession of marijuana, drove away from officers, parked beside a West Ashley restaurant, and leaned back in his seat in what officers believed was an attempt to “try and make it appear as though no one was in the vehicle.”

A man followed two women walking out of work and harassed one, saying that he would rape her and that her cell phone wouldn’t help her. She ducked into a building and called 911 while the man continued on to Marion Square. CPD received five similar calls in the span of two hours about the same suspect engaging in similar behavior.

A vehicle, likely a delivery truck, caused $5,000 in damage when it struck a city-owned solar-powered trash compactor.

Two men, ranging in ages from mid 30s to early 40s, walked into a West Ashley retail store. One of them turned to an employee and said, “I like these skateboards, I’m going to take them.” He then picked up three skateboards and ran away. The other one grabbed eight hammocks, said almost the same thing, and also took off.

A man Ubered out of his niece’s wedding and decided it would be funny to hop in his truck and do a burnout on the road near her house. He got pretty angry after he was caught, telling officers on the scene, “I’m going to cooperate, but I’m going to make this difficult. You’re a fucking cocksucker and I hope you choke on your fucking sperm. Fuck you, you fucking faggot. I hope your mom dies from cancer like mine.”