Illustration by Steve Stegelin

Best of the Blotter 

As a teaser for our annual Best of the Blotter issue, here are a handful of our favorite runners-up so far this year:

Officers noticed a “suspicious bulge” in the pants of a man sitting on a downtown sidewalk. To their relief, and ours, it was discovered to be a 16-ounce can of beer.

A West Ashley man whose moped was stolen told officers he believes the culprit to have been a part of a larger, organized crime syndicate specializing in small motor vehicles. Guys, we got the new Fast and Furious movie.

During a routine traffic stop, police told the driver of a gray Dodge Charger to step outside, to which the man behind the wheel replied, “Why don’t you step outside, so I can beat your ass?”

A West Ashley woman’s car was struck by another in the parking lot of a West Ashley clothing store, and the other vehicle continued driving around the parking lot, apparently looking for a space. 

A woman reported her purse was stolen from a house party after she put it down on what either she or the police called a “budda head.” It’s probably a Buddha head, but would be great if it was actually a bust made of butter.