Steve Stegelin

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Blotter o' the week: Imagine you're invited over to see your sister's newborn. Pretty cool, right? Now imagine you're invited over to see your sister's baby, but steal a phone and Chromebook while you're over there. That's what one West Ashley woman accused her brother of doing. He's probably just trying to minimize the kid's screentime.

Items were stolen from an emergency room doctor's car one night after she parked it on a downtown street, including a stethoscope valued at $200. We imagine every medical professional reading this is softly, sadly saying to themselves, "Yeah, $200 sounds right."

Police officers responded to reported gunshots at about midnight on the Fourth of July. We were surprised the police even responded, because of fireworks and all, but it turns out the claim was real. Officers found 54 shell casings and live rounds from at least six different firearms in the area. They also found about 87 grams of marijuana, but that was probably unrelated.

A West Ashley man reported his car vandalized when he found it in a handicap parking spot, damaged with multiple bricks laying around it. Turns out, the night before, one of his friends took the car and parked it in the handicap spot. Not sure about the bricks though.

What's the one thing you never want to say when meeting up with someone you met through the Facebook Marketplace? "Am I being robbed, is that a gun?" one man asked. "I guess so," the offender responded before running off with a stolen cell phone.

When approached by officers, a suspect claimed he had not been inside the store that had reported a shoplifting but was just looking in through the window. He should trademark the term "window shoplifting" then, because he had about $100 worth of stolen merchandise in his pockets.

In an effort to appear more family-friendly, the deviant minds behind The Blotter have decided to censor the following entry: Officers met with a [redacted] [redacted] whose [redacted] had been [redacted]. It is worth noting that the [redacted] was [redacted] across from a crew of [redacted], who claimed they didn't see the [redacted] when they [redacted] on site in the morning.

Officers responded to a downtown bar where a woman was being escorted out of the establishment for removing her clothes and refusing to put them back on. Responding officers noted the women appeared to be intoxicated to the "ordinary observer." When talking to her, she told police her dad is a judge, a sergeant-major and that the officer's daughter is in the bar. She was arrested. Life was so much more peaceful when all the bars were shut down.

Officers watched a man distribute multiple bottles of wine to associates on the corner of King and Calhoun, and after approaching, observed an additional three bottles stuffed in his pockets. At first, we thought this was a simple misunderstanding, as this man was clearly a local wine peddler. Turns out they were stolen. Who knew?

A James Island woman noticed that her decorative yard lights were missing from her front yard and launched a solo investigation into the matter vigilante style. Using security camera footage, she tracked the thief to a house down the road and found the missing lights in someone else's yard. I guess the thief's yard was green with envy.