Blotter o’ the week: A white powdery substance was observed on nearly every surface of the downstairs of a residence, while an empty fire extinguisher sat on the kitchen counter. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
THE THINGS THEY SHOPLIFTED: Three video games, two pairs of earrings, and two Goodyear tires.
A man who parked his car downtown returned later that night to find a 200-pound steel drain cover on the hood of his 2001 Nissan. Those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles must be going through a rebellious phase.
A golf cart was stolen from a downtown home. The keys had been left in the ignition.
EXCUSE O’ THE WEEK: When asked why he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt at a traffic stop, a driver simply replied, “I don’t like to.”
How can you tell finals are approaching? When a bottle of 90 Adderall pills is stolen from a car.
After a couple got into an argument because the woman wouldn’t answer her cell phone, the man swung his jacket at her. The jacket gave her a black eye and a scrape on her forehead. The jacket must workout.
STOLEN ITEMS O’ THE WEEK: Two “African-style bongo drums made of wood and canvas, with feathers and black rope around the elongated wooden trunk of the drums.”
An intoxicated man spent a night swearing at random groups of people on Market Street. After being warned by a police officer, he continued to shout, “Fuck you motherfucking hippies.” He must have thought he was on Folly.
A married couple of 27 years got into a domestic dispute over an iron. The woman defended herself with a fishing reel.
An out-of-town driver had three tires slashed on her parked car. That’s the last time she takes tips from Condé Nast Traveler.
A woman witnessed her ex-boyfriend ripping the SCE&G meter off the wall outside her residence. Electricity must make him sentimental.
LOVE THY NEIGHBOR O’ THE WEEK: A man returned to his house after a Thanksgiving trip to find a branch on his property trimmed. He thinks his neighbor did it over a property line dispute.
A woman let her roommate know that they were robbed through a Facebook message. Phone calls are just too intimate these days.
When an officer approached a man holding a Styrofoam cup, the man quickly put it down on the ground. When asked what was in the cup, the man responded, “Umm, I think it’s beer, but it’s not mine.” No one else was around.
Another Charleston man threatened to become destructive “like the Hulk.” Bruce Banner has got some competition out there.
An unknown person removed a Carolina One “For Sale” sign from a downtown gate. Maybe it was their way of calling dibs.
A bed and breakfast noticed that only nine pieces were left from a 60-piece silverware set. The complete set is valued at $20,000.
BARGAINING O’ THE WEEK: When found with marijuana, a suspect asked the officer, “Man, please don’t lock me up. That’s some petty shit.”
Three Christmas trees were stolen from two different Food Lion supermarkets. ‘Tis the season.