BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: A trio of shoplifters failed to blend into the crowd while wearing pink, bright green, and denim shirts, respectively.

A man got pulled over at a traffic stop and tried to hide a crack rock in the crease of the passenger seat. He failed.

A woman in a parked car abruptly opened her door, causing a man passing by in the bike lane to hit her vehicle and fall off his bicycle, cracking his iPhone. The woman got out, told the man she hadn’t seen him, and drove off.

Last-Minute Plea O’ The Week: “You really gonna lock me up over a blunt?”

An officer woke up a man who was sleeping on the sidewalk, and he immediately stood up and started peeing on the ground.

Two men stole two 55-inch televisions from a store simply by showing a fake receipt to the employee at the exit door.

Police got a call about a fight between a cab driver and a man in a parking lot. The officer, noticing the man seemed a little tipsy and smelled like alcohol, asked him how much he had had to drink that night, to which he answered, “Well, obviously too much.” The officer asked him why he’d been arguing with the cab driver, and he said, “Because he is a smarty pants.”

A man described by police as “a habitual drunkard with a storied history of alcohol-related offenses” took a stroll down Upper King Street carrying an open Thirst Buster cup filled with Four Loko.

The Things They Shoplifted: Pork ribs, ribeye steaks, two packs of shell-on shrimp, three packages of braiding hair, three $500 golf clubs, two pairs of snakeskin boots.

Snitch O’ The Week: An officer, smelling marijuana in a car at a traffic stop, asked if there was any pot in the vehicle. The man in the passenger seat piped up and said, “I don’t have any on me, but …” and cut his eyes toward the driver.

Police stopped a man who was stumbling around a hotel parking lot and asked him where he was from. He answered, “The City of North Carolina.”

Facebook Threat O’ The Week: “I want you to come on Romney St. tonite to get your ass kicked.”

Someone broke into an apartment complex and smeared McDonald’s hamburgers and side items all over the elevator call buttons and wall art.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.