Blotter o’ the Week: A gentleman decided to take an afternoon nap on the couch in a coffee shop downtown. After refusing several requests by employees to wake up and leave, the man eventually woke long enough to ask all the customers in the store for some cash, according to an incident report.

A woman was asked by her boyfriend to go to his home and wait for the cable guy to arrive. Later, the woman heard a knock at the door, but when she answered, she was allegedly attacked by her boyfriend’s ex-wife. The ex-wife eventually left the scene, but in a double cross straight out of Melrose Place the girlfriend told police that she believes she was “set up,” according to an incident report.

Officers were called to a grocery store in reference to a suspected arson, according to an incident report. When police arrived, the store was covered in water due to the sprinkler system activating. Officers were led to the women’s restroom where they found that a toilet paper dispenser was melted and blackened. The store’s manager said that he was sitting in his office when he heard a loud burst and soon discovered smoke pouring from the restroom. Total damages are estimated at $15,000.

A father was forced to snatch the keys from the ignition of the vehicle his son was driving after he allegedly became overcome with anger. The two then got into a verbal dispute that ended with the son breaking the vehicle’s center console and passenger-side door handle.

An assistant manager at a gas station recognized a suspected shoplifter who walked away with a few beers in his pockets because the man frequently comes into the store and complains about alcohol being too expensive.

Five young students were charged after shouting obscenities at their school bus driver, throwing pencils, and attempting to open the bus door while the vehicle was in motion. Their next stop is going to be much worse than detention.

A suspect stole 147 bottles of Pepsi and Mountain Dew by cutting the lock on a refrigerator located outside of a convenience store. If he cashes in the aluminum for scrap metal in South Carolina, he can make about $2.50, but redeeming the cans in Michigan would earn the criminal mastermind a whopping $14.70.

An officer started his day by running across an intoxicated man who was still going strong from the previous night. The man provided the officer with a German ID, but could not recall where he had been or how he arrived at his current location. The only thing the man could remember doing is drinking.

An officer responded to the scene of a traffic accident between two vehicles and noticed that one of the drivers appeared to be intoxicated. After admitting to having a few drinks, the suspect told the officer that he grew impatient following the crash and purchased alcohol to drink while waiting for the police to arrive, according to an incident report.

An officer watched a man walk out of a convenience store early one morning and begin to drink a beer he had just purchased. When questioned by the officer, the man said that he was on his way to work and was upset because he thought that he was about to lose his job, according to an incident report. Of course, there’s no better way to score points with your boss than to have a beer for breakfast.

An officer discovered an open bottle of vodka in the floorboard of a vehicle during a routine traffic stop. When asked about the alcohol, a passenger replied, “Come on, man. You know that’s mine,” according to an incident report. After the driver and passengers were asked to exit the vehicle, the officer located a loaded firearm in the back seat. When the driver and passengers were questioned about the weapon, the passenger once again spoke up to ask, “Is it stolen?” Once the officer informed him that the weapon was not listed as stolen, the passenger replied, “OK, I’ll take that charge. It’s mine.” This is truly what good friends are for.

A restaurant manager entered his office one morning to find that the company safe was missing. Burglars are believed to have used a nearby hammer to rip up the wooden flooring to which the 200-pound safe was bolted. The manager told officers that a similar incident had occurred a few months ago, but the suspects were unable to detach the safe from the floor.