Blotter o’ the Week: A man walked into the Department of Motor Vehicles on three consecutive days and stood uncomfortably close to people while pulling up his shirt and exposing his chest to people. An employee of the DMV walked over to the police department to ask for help.

The Things They Shoplifted: An energy drink, six shirts, a $10 pair of jeans, a bikini, two pairs of panties, a dress, some socks, and eight pairs of shoes.

Someone stole a debit card and used it to make a $1 purchase at a drug store, followed by a $200 purchase at the same drug store 20 minutes later. Who among us hasn’t forgotten to buy something at the store?

A woman got caught shoplifting, and it turned out she was also carrying some marijuana in her pocket. Holy lack of foresight, Batman!

A bar patron refused to pay for a $30 tab, saying he did not owe any money. The bartender offered him an out, saying he just wanted the patron to leave the bar, but the tipsy customer refused and started yelling at the bartender. He was arrested on a charge of public drunkenness.

Someone stepped onto a front porch and stole 32 shark teeth ranging in size from 3 to 7 inches.

A mailbox was found laying on the ground with a broken base. Police saw no tire tracks and no indication that the mailbox had been hit with a bat. The mystery continues.

A man told police, “I ain’t got nuttin’ to hide,” but when police found a baggie of weed in his pocket, he said, “Damn … I rolled one and forgot that little shit was in my pocket.”

Shoplifting Technique o’ the Week: Driving around a store in a motorized wheelchair and hiding two pairs of pants under one’s butt.

Exercising that famous Charleston hospitality, a man living downtown invited some tourists from Australia and Germany back to his home after the bars closed at 2 a.m. one night. Later, after the tourists left, he realized that his laptop computer was missing.

Late at night, police came across a man standing on the street repeatedly shouting, “Fuck you, man! Fuck you!” The belligerent man’s sister and friend told police that they were trying to convince the man to ride home with them instead of getting into his own car, but he kept yelling. The officer noted, “The offender was talking but was not making any sense.”

Crack Cocaine Hiding Place o’ the Week: Inside a closed umbrella.

Pot Legalization Argument o’ the Week: “Man, it’s a blunt. You ain’t going to arrest me for that, are you? I have to go to work tomorrow.”

Police stopped a driver for failing to stop at a red light. Looking in through the window, the officer noticed “green, leafy plant material” on the driver’s pants near his groin. When asked about it, the driver said, “Oh yeah, there’s nothing in the car.” The man was arrested on a charge of simple possession after the officer found a joint in his pocket.

A man in a Red Sox jersey walked into a hotel buffet, ate for 45 minutes, and then took off running without paying his bill.

Some tourists checked out of a downtown hotel and then realized once they had gotten home that they had left $13,300 worth of jewelry on a bed in their hotel room.

According to a man who contacted police, two men followed him to his apartment and tried to break in through the windows, but he thwarted them by putting a couch up against the windows. Police noted that all of the broken glass was outside the apartment, and it appeared that the windows had been broken from the inside. “The victim appeared confused and did admit to consuming alcohol and smoking marijuana earlier in the night,” an officer noted.

Someone stole 10 metal equipment cabinets from outside of a city warehouse. The cabinets were empty, so the thief would have been sorely disappointed if he expected a Storage Wars-style motherlode.