Illustration by Steve Stegelin

This Blotter is taken from reports filed with the Charleston Police Department between Feb. 2 to March. 23, 2022.

Blotter of the week: A downtown man who failed a field sobriety test told officers he just isn’t great on his legs, and would be able to walk the straight line if he had been allowed to walk on his hands instead. Handcuffs prevented this outcome.

In fairness, the plate did read IH8HIM

A West Ashley woman told officers her license plate had been stolen from her car, and she believed it to be related to some “ongoing issues” with her ex-boyfriend. 

If loving you is wrong …

Police responded to a downtown call about a belligerent drunk man. When police arrived, the drunken man stated that he, his brother, and the 911 caller’s husband were all in a relationship and would be attending his brother’s wedding reception. 

That’s just a Scooby Doo villain

Police received a call from a couple inside a West Ashley cemetery after the caretaker told them he would be closing the gates soon. The couple said the caretaker “snickered and then drove off,” as the couple reached the recently locked gate. 

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