Illustration by Steve Stegelin

Blotter of the Week: Police received reports from a bus driver saying a passenger was making “threatening gestures,” including finger-guns, the middle finger, and “pulling up his shirt and rubbing his tits.” All aboard!

RUNNERS UP

A routine traffic stop ended with a young driver breaking down in tears because she was “going to go to jail.”  A quick search revealed what she was guilty of: possession for less than a gram of marijuana. She was given a warning and did not, in fact, go to jail. 

An officer asked the driver of a van if he normally smoked weed in the vehicle after catching a whiff of burnt marijuana. The driver reportedly responded, “Totally,” as someone who normally smokes weed in a van would.

A woman caught sipping a drink in a paper bag on a downtown sidewalk began to scream profanities at officers, who put her in a police cruiser and relocated her elsewhere, presumably so she could yell obscenities where fewer tourists can hear.

Security footage from a downtown pharmacy showed a man enter, grab four bottles of hand sanitizer and a $1 tube of toothpaste before leaving the store without paying, making a clean getaway.

A drunk woman told officers she didn’t need emergency medical help for her skinned elbow, but then screamed that her arm had been broken when officers moved to arrest her after she disobeyed orders.

A routine traffic stop ended with a young driver breaking down in tears because she was “going to go to jail.” A quick search revealed what she was guilty of: possession for less than a gram of marijuana. She was given a warning and did not, in fact, go to jail. 

A downtown store manager told officers a woman entered with three children and told them to “get what they want.” Unclear whether that actually meant for them to steal a few hundred dollars worth of toys and candy. 

A West Ashley man’s golf bag was stolen from his vehicle, a collection of 12 clubs in various sizes. Even thieves are excited to play golf after the PGA Championship at Kiawah.

When questioned about why he was drinking from a paper bag in public, a downtown man told officers cheerfully, “I’m an alcoholic!” OK, step one down.

A West Ashley man in his apartment took aim at his bedroom door with a pistol he thought he kept unloaded. Since this is the Blotter, you’ve probably guessed — surprise! — he was wrong, and shot a hole through his door.