The Blotter is taken from reports filed with Charleston Police Department from November 2011.

Illustration by Steve Stegelin

Blotter of the Week: A night-shift clerk at a convenience store decided to take a nap in the back room. While she was dozing, an opportunist took a five-finger discount on a bottle of wine, a 12-pack of beer, an energy drink, an apple and a banana.

RUNNERS UP

A man leaned out the passenger door of a truck and yelled at a man on the sidewalk, “Move out of the road, you fat ass!” A cop took notice, saw that the truck’s tags were expired, and pulled the truck over. In the end, the shotgun-seat road warrior was arrested for disorderly conduct and for having Oxycodone without a prescription. Chalk one up for pedestrians.

When police asked a drunken man with vomit on his shirt why he was trying to open the back door of a closed business, he said, “I own this building.” No word on whether the puke was his own.

At a traffic stop, an officer smelled alcohol on a man’s breath and asked him if he had any open containers of alcohol in the car. His response? “No open containers, but I have some blow in the cup holder.” He wasn’t lying.