Blotter o’ the week: a West Ashley man was walking his dog when a man pulled up next to him and accused him of scratching his car. When the dog-walker said he didn’t know what he was talking about, the driver sped off, reversed, got out of his car, swiped a bag of dog poop from the other man’s hands, and chucked it at him, soiling the left side of his head and his shoulder.

A grad student at “a local institution of higher education” was taken to jail after he was found sleeping in an alley, unable to muster the dexterity to dial a friend.

A 12-year-old girl was punched in the face repeatedly by two siblings while waiting for her school bus. At one point, the offenders’ mom held the girl’s arms behind her back while her children attacked the girl.

In a real life Charleston ghost story, a man who cut off contact with a woman after one night walked out of his house to find multiple Xs scratched onto his car. The man recalled that his mom’s coworker previously said she might know the woman in question, and that “she is crazy.”

Rarely a good sign when a person walks toward an officer with her arms extended saying, “arrest me.”

A man decided to press charges against his boss after all when a scan revealed three fractured ribs and a lung contusion stemming from a physical fight about lack of payment five days earlier.

A man successfully swiped $1,500 in $50 bills from a downtown bank teller after distracting her with a FaceTime call, a request for different denominations, and a small tantrum about on-the-spot currency exchange for a “trip to Australia.”

“During a search of her person it was discovered she had a large Meth Pipe protruding from her vagina.” Okay… “[Offender] removed the Methamphetamine smoking pipe from her vagina without incident and it was collected as evidence.” What!?

A James Island man “bear-hugged” his partner to prevent her from taking the kids and leaving the house after he became drunk and aggressive.

A man walking southbound on King Street with an open 12-ounce PBR told an officer that he was “holding” it for someone else.

A West Ashley woman received 50 to 100 text messages from her boss after declining his invitation for drinks. The messages included threats such as, “I’m going to sit in your cul-de-sac and watch,” and, “You’re going to learn to regret ever meeting me.”

A Johns Island woman called the cops on her son after he said that “everyone will die” following a fight with his sister in the car. Officers later discovered a loaded shotgun in the trunk of the family’s car.