Blotter o’ the Week: Police found an intoxicated man staggering around an apartment complex. When asked where he lived, the man pointed toward the Cooper River, and said, “I live over there.” According to an incident report, the area where the man believed he lives is a tidal marsh.

An intoxicated man was removed from a downtown bar and placed under arrest for threatening other patrons. While detained in the officer’s patrol car, the man continued to make threats until Adele’s “Hello” began playing on the radio, at which time, “The offender became extremely calm and happy while singing along,” according to an incident report.

A thief took approximately 60 cents in loose change from a woman’s unlocked car. Nothing else was reported missing from the vehicle, but the woman did find a cell phone that was left behind by the suspect.

One man rang up an $89 dinner bill, including a filet and three Manhattans, before restaurant staff realized that he had no way of paying for the meal. Following his meal, the man earned a night in jail at no additional charge.

One man woke up on the wrong side of the bar stool after dozing off in a downtown taproom. When a bartender woke the man and refused to serve him another beer, the man began shouting obscenities and threw his empty glass across the counter.

A woman called police after finding a stranger asleep in the backseat of her car one morning. According to an incident report, the man told the officer that he was too drunk to walk home the previous night, so he decided to sleep it off in the nearest unlocked vehicle.

A man told officers that his handgun went missing after he hid the weapon in what he thought was a safe place. According to an incident report, the man left the gun under a parked car downtown, and when he went to retrieve it, the weapon was no longer there, teaching him the valuable lesson: Here today, gun tomorrow.

Gearing up for what sounds like a fun evening, a shoplifter attempted to make off with three video games and a six-pack of flavored malt beverages from a store.

Officers arrested a drunk driver who informed them that he had been drinking eggnog at a friend’s house, but did not know what was in the drink.

An intoxicated man was found standing in the middle of traffic, flexing his muscles at cars, and shouting. When asked if he had taken any drugs, the man replied, “Yo mamma’s THC, bro,” before attempting to bite the officer’s fingers. According to an incident report, medical personnel suspect the man was under the influence of bath salts.

A driver managed to ignore an officer for 35 minutes before finally exiting his car during a traffic stop. The officer noted that the man spent this time on the phone with his attorney.

Officers found an intoxicated man staggering around without a shirt one evening and noticed that his arms were covered in small cuts. The officers soon discovered that the man was trying to contact a woman at her home when he accidentally broke her window and fled.

A man was caught attempting to sneak an open beer into the city courthouse.

A man believes his clothing was stolen by a maid that he found on Craigslist. After discovering the missing wardrobe, the man contacted the maid who told him that she had taken the clothes home with her to finish washing them. After attempting to call the maid again, the man learned that her phone number had been disconnected.

Two officers questioned a man who they had just witnessed tossing a cigarette butt on the street. While speaking with the officers, the man called 911 to report that he was being harassed.

A man told police that he had stepped outside to call a friend after he was spotted urinating behind a bar. According to an incident report, the man excused his actions by saying that the line for the bathroom in the bar was too long.

An officer watched an intoxicated man exit a bar with a glass of bourbon, walk out into traffic, and throw the glass away as he crossed the street. The man told the officer that in addition to the glass of bourbon, he also had five or six shots while at the bar.