Blotter o’ the week: Someone charged $5,445 worth of Apple products to a man’s stolen credit card.

During a disorderly conduct arrest on King Street, a man “became agitated and advised R/o that he was going fucking nowhere.”

A man left his keys on the center console of his truck and covered them up with some papers. In the time it took him to have dinner at a downtown seafood restaurant, someone stole a key fob, a pair of sunglasses, and a shotgun from inside the vehicle.

Two men fought on the ground of a King Street convenience store as 15 customers stood around watching them.

Two teenagers drove a dirt bike and a four-wheeler on an unfinished parking lot on James Island. The president of the construction company told an officer it would cost thousands to fix the damage made to the $13,000 lot.

After an officer ordered a man to stop running, he shouted back, “That dude punched my friend!” When the officer asked why he ran, he answered, “Because we didn’t want to have to deal with any of this bullshit.”

A woman was seen stumbling down the sidewalk at 1 a.m. in the opposite direction of her downtown hotel. She was arrested after she refused to let her husband come pick her up.

A West Ashley man walked out of his house to find that someone had deflated his tires and keyed “fuck u” on the hood of his car.

A woman told officers that a neighbor from across the street routinely knocks on her door and asks for a cigarette with his penis exposed. The woman told officers that every time, “she immediately tells the subject to put his penis back in his pants and go home. The subject always complies and leaves the premises of her property, sometimes with his penis still hanging out of his pants.” The man did the same thing to the woman’s adult son, but she was only encouraged to report his behavior after it happened to another neighbor.

A West Ashley hotel guest called the cops claiming that her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend was in the parking lot trying to run him over. The hotel manager later confirmed that the man had actually jumped on his ex’s car and punched the windshield, covering his ex in shards of glass.