Illustration by Steve Stegelin

The Blotter is taken from reports filed with Charleston Police Department between Dec. 1 and Dec. 15, 2021.

Blotter of the Week: A man sleeping on a downtown sidewalk past curfew told officers, after they woke him up, that he wasn’t sleeping, and that he was just eating fruit. To be fair, he did have fruit on his person. 

RUNNERS UP

A West Ashley man who had rammed his car into a tree told officers he felt fine and would like to drive home, despite his car being in no condition to drive. Officers discovered why the man was so reluctant to leave the car when they found the bag of weed in the center console. To clarify, he was not high when he wrecked the car … he
was drunk.

A downtown man told officers the plastic bag of what they assumed was weed was actually edibles from a dispensary in Las Vegas. Police noted the substance was consistent with ground marijuana to be rolled into a cigarette. Listen, guys, it was probably just imported.

Police approached a downtown man they suspected to have been driving under the influence. When police asked if the vehicle was his, the driver responded, “No, it’s my brother’s.” Unfortunately for him, the alcohol in his system wasn’t going to be passed off that easily.