Blotter O’ the week: A man had two Nintendo controllers stolen from his front porch by a stranger in a green vest.

A man showed up at his cousin’s house covered in blood claiming that someone snuck into his truck, held a knife to his side, and told him to drive until he said stop.

A man poured four to six ounces of gin into a Sprite bottle as he sat at the Marion Square fountain in the middle of a bustling farmer’s market.

Someone stole a $5,000 18-karat gold bracelet and a $2,000 14-karat gold watch from a couple’s room in an upscale downtown hotel.

A “bald white male” walked out of a West Ashley hardware store with a $749 power inverter.

A friendly jam sesh between James Island neighbors turned sour when one said something the other didn’t like. As his guest walked out of his apartment, the offended party pushed him to the ground and punched him in the nose.

Someone rummaged through a West Ashley family’s unlocked car and stole a $400 wallet, a $300 wallet, a $260 purse, and $100 in currency. Oh, and Advil.

A bakery owner walked into a Broad Street business event, stood between a camera and a group of women taking a picture, and dropped his pants to his ankles.

A group of three bikers tried to exit a downtown parking garage using only one ticket. They broke the gate arm when it fell back down, causing $400 in damage.

A boisterously drunk man interrupted a vigil in honor of the Pittsburgh synagogue shooting victims by shouting “get out” and “this isn’t political” when a speaker brought up assault rifle legislation. He was arrested for disorderly conduct after telling officers he’d rather go to jail than have his wife come pick him up.

A drunk and irate man told officers “that he had too much to drink and wished to continue his day drinking at the bar.”

A serial flasher walked into a woman’s apartment while she was bending over and putting clothes away in her dresser. The woman felt something brush against her. She turned around to discover a man standing behind her with his dick hanging out of his pants. She screamed, and the man inexplicably asked for a bag of ice for his face.