The Blotter is taken from reports filed with Charleston Police Department from August 2011.

Illustration by Steve Stegelin

Blotter of the Week: After they had both had a few drinks, a man got in an argument with his girlfriend and chopped her in the throat. When she started crying, he attempted to kiss and make up, and she bit his tongue.


A man told an officer he wasn’t sure if the white rock he had picked up off the street and stashed in his breast pocket was crack cocaine or a hunk
of sheet rock.

When police asked a man why he was lying on his kitchen floor bleeding profusely from his cheek, forehead, shoulder, and back, he said, “I ain’t sure. I just got punched and fell on the floor.” His cousin told police they had been in a small fight but everyone was OK.

A homeowner reported that someone had stolen the “Yard of the Month” sign from her yard. Turf wars gettin’ ugly in the ’burbs.

Someone broke into a man’s car and stole his Acer laptop, only to leave it on the ground 100 yards away. Apparently the burglar was a Mac snob.