The Blotter is taken from reports filed with Charleston Police Department from August 2011.

Illustration by Steve Stegelin

Blotter of the Week: After they had both had a few drinks, a man got in an argument with his girlfriend and chopped her in the throat. When she started crying, he attempted to kiss and make up, and she bit his tongue.

RUNNERS UP

A man told an officer he wasn’t sure if the white rock he had picked up off the street and stashed in his breast pocket was crack cocaine or a hunk
of sheet rock.

When police asked a man why he was lying on his kitchen floor bleeding profusely from his cheek, forehead, shoulder, and back, he said, “I ain’t sure. I just got punched and fell on the floor.” His cousin told police they had been in a small fight but everyone was OK.

A homeowner reported that someone had stolen the “Yard of the Month” sign from her yard. Turf wars gettin’ ugly in the ’burbs.

Someone broke into a man’s car and stole his Acer laptop, only to leave it on the ground 100 yards away. Apparently the burglar was a Mac snob.