Illustration by Steve Stegelin

The Blotter is taken from reports filed with Charleston Police Department between Aug. 4 and Aug. 16.

Blotter of the Week: Police noticed an older man on a downtown bench drinking from a large glass bottle full of what they assumed was alcohol. After making eye contact with the man, a passing vehicle blocked the officers’ view, and when next they saw the man, the bottle was completely empty. Now, that’s a magic trick.

RUNNERS UP

A man whose phone was stolen described it as having a case depicting “a kilted gentleman.” This is perhaps simultaneously the most vague and specific description of a phone case we’ve ever seen.

Officers noticed a jar labeled “Party Like a Pot Star” full of what was later determined to be marijuana in the backseat of a car. Party pothead’s in the big house tonight, or whatever that band from the 2000s said.

Police described a potential suspect detailed in a police report as “balding,” which is probably accurate, but damn.